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This past week has been really hard on us. Last Sunday, our sweet girl was a little more sniffley than normal. We didn't think much of it, honestly, because she's been a fairly sniffley baby from the start. As soon as Monday morning rolled around, however, Billie was so congested that her little inhales and exhales sounded so rattled and wheezy. Watching someone you love deal with not feeling good is hard enough as it is... but when it's your baby, it's a whole new level of stress. They can't do one thing to help themselves through the sickness (and there's not much you can do for them either).

When we took her in to her pediatrician, sure enough, we discovered that little Billie had bronchiolitis. There's been so much garbage going around this winter-- the pediatrician told us that there are several viruses he's been seeing with the children that have been brought in. They basically just label all of them as "bronchiolitis" because they're all treated essentially the same way.

He put Billie on an antibiotic for a little sinus infection (we have to give it to her via a little syringe and it's been quite the challenge trying to figure out how to get her to actually swallow it haha) and then he did a test at the clinic with albuterol to see if it would help with her wheezing and labored breathing. She was definitely NOT a fan of it, but it helped her lots and so we continued with the albuterol + nebulizer at home as well (thankfully she's gotten a little better at tolerating the mist in her face). We had to take her in to the suction clinic at the hospital a few times so she could get all of the gross mucus sucked out of her (which, as her mom, was so satisfying to watch because she could actually kind of breathe after the fact). Needless to say, it's been a very, very long week.

Side note: we were referred to this nasal aspirator that hooks up to your vacuum and essentially does what they do at the suction clinic. It's been the biggest life saver for us this past week! We tried the hospital bulb nose-sucking thing, the nose frida, etc. before we tried this thing and it is hands-down the best one we have tried! 

It's been so interesting for me to watch this little girl of mine handle sickness. Yes, she's been utterly miserable, but she's also managed to remain SO happy despite the way that her body has been treating her. She's been so, so sick. She can hardly breathe, the drainage makes her sick to her stomach (which then leads to way too much puking and choking), and she's had such an awful cough. But amidst the struggle, I've learned so much about her sweet personality this week. She's always been an angel, but we have now discovered that, even in times of hardship, this little girl is a total trooper! She's got nothing but smiles (and sometimes a couple of sassy scowls) to share with the world around her. 

Tay and I have been talking a lot about how we want to learn to be like that-- happy despite the unfortunate circumstances we may be facing. Ironically enough, just a few days after discussing how we want to be more like Billie, we BOTH got super sick. So now we're just trying to be positive and happy despite the fact that our heads feel like they're going to explode. What a perfect opportunity to put into action the very thing we'd been discussing (oh, karma is funny). I've officially come to the conclusion that we'll be barricading ourselves in the house until all of this nastiness is gone and the weather welcomes more warmth and sunshine.

Although this week has been hard, it's also been incredibly sweet. Turns out, sick babies just so happen to be cuddly babies as well. Needless to say, we've had a week brimming with endless naps and snuggles (unfortunately, I wasn't the one participating in the napping... I simply supervised it haha). There were times when I was afraid to even put her down because she was so congested or because I was afraid she'd choke on her spit up-- so I just wrapped her up tightly in a warm blanket and held her close to me... she'd look up at me with those big eyes of hers and study my face until she'd drift off to sleep. I often wonder what I look like to her; I wonder what sees and feels when she examines my face. And then I think back to when I was a small child in my own mother's arms. I wish I could remember the things I experienced as an infant-- maybe I'd be able to better understand the things my own baby is experiencing. (Clearly I had a LOT of time to just sit and think this week.)

One highlight of the week was witnessing our girl enjoying alllll of the extra bath time she got. She's always loved being in the water, but this week we went ahead and spoiled her with baths because it was one of the only things we could do that would actually help her! We had this gentle "vapor" stuff we'd put in the bath (it was designed to soothe fussy babies plus it's just fun because it made the water bubbly) and then we'd put her down in the warm water and she'd instantly come to life! She'd kick her legs and flail her arms so much that she'd practically soak us and our entire bathroom. It was almost as if the water would instantly make her forget that she was even sick-- which is why we utilized bath time as much as we did. Plus, it was just so much fun to watch her splashing and laughing each time we put her in the tub. 

All I know is this: taking care of a baby is hard, taking care of a sick baby is even harder, and taking care of a sick baby while you're also sick is the hardest. It's been a long and challenging week but it's been so full of so many precious moments that we've somehow managed to come to find ourselves grateful for the way it's all panned out. Now, if you'd excuse me, I'm going to go and keep myself busy by hiding in my house until summer. 


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