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You can pretty accurately gage how fragile you subconsciously believe babies are by the way you handle them while you bathe them. When we first brought Billie home, I refused to attempt to give her a bath on my own. I didn't want to do it alone because I didn't want to be responsible for the water being too hot or too cold, for not supporting her head sufficiently, and so forth. It all seemed so overwhelming to me. Brand new babies seem fragile enough as it is-- but when they're completely naked and in a bath of water, they somehow seem even MORE fragile. I truly didn't feel as if I was prepared to take on the challenge of giving her a bath when Taylor was away at work during the day. So, when she'd have a blow out or puke all over herself... I settled for sponge baths.

It's been fun to not only see how our baby girl has changed and grown as the days roll on by, but to also see how we change and adapt into our roles as her parents. There were specific things I felt certain I couldn't do on my own... but now I'm beginning to get the hang of it all (I am, by no means, claiming to be some kind of baby guru. Because clearly, when it comes to parenthood, nobody actually knows a dang thing about anything... but I'm simply becoming more comfortable in my role of being a mother and all of the little things and tasks that being Billie's mom entails.) I still prefer to wait until Tay is home to take on the bathing a baby challenge-- but I CAN do it on my own. And as silly and insignificant as that may sound, it was a big deal for this worrisome, overly-protective mother. 

Motherhood is hard. It's sweet and wonderful and oh-so fun... but it's hard! It challenges you in new and unique ways that you couldn't have ever imagined outside of the bounds of experiencing it all for yourself. For me, the biggest challenge of motherhood is simply feeling adequate enough to actually do it. It's so easy to let uncertainty and negativity wash over my thoughts-- I catch myself constantly wondering how I'll ever be "good enough" for this perfect little girl or thinking things along the lines of, "Why did she have to end up with me as her mom? She got the lamest mom ever." But then she looks up at me with those pretty, perfect little eyes and I can see how much she loves and trusts me. Almost instantly, I'm reminded that I am good enough for her. Somehow, in the grand scheme of universe, I was chosen to be her mother. I may not be perfect (and I certainly never will be....), but to my sweet little Billie Rose, I am Mom. And that makes me enough.

towel: bambi bamboo | rug: Rugs USA | prints: peri cotton


1 comment

  1. I know you're just killin' it as a mother! She's so lucky to have you, and you're so lucky to have her!


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