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It's a funny thing to be pregnant; sometimes you feel pregnant and other times you simply feel overwhelmed and unbelieving of the fact that there is a little baby growing within your belly. You are reminded every day, however, of the changes taking place within your body as you watch your belly button morph into some new shape with each new morning and as you continually feel the little flutterings of baby kicks deep within your womb. It's definitely the most amazing thing I've ever witnessed my body do-- but it's also one of the most bizarre things to experience day by day.

The first trimester was really hard for me. I was extremely sick and miserable through the whole thing. Every time I found myself frantically sprinting towards the bathroom or hanging out with my good ol' friend the toilet bowl, I was reminded of the fact that there was a little bean of a baby growing inside me and causing all sorts of havoc. Some of that sickness and misery seeped into the first few weeks of the second trimester as well, but as my pregnancy continued to progress, my body seemed to become more capable of taking on the task of baby growing. It quickly became easy to forget that I was pregnant. My belly kept growing but my health kept getting better. I didn't FEEL pregnant-- heck, I didn't even really look all that pregnant (which, admittedly, bothered me at first because I'd get those weird, "are you pregnant or are you just gaining weight?" looks from people all the time). I was shooting weddings and going on adventures just like I had before I was pregnant-- things just felt normal. But then I began to feel my baby kicking.

At first I wasn't sure if it was her or if it was just random other things going on with my body. But, as she grew, the kicks did too. The tiny flutterings grew more and more intense until, eventually, I could see the little outline of baby's limbs pressing against the inside of my womb. She became very determined to remind me often that she is there and that she's coming sooner than we think.

Now, here we are, three months away from her arrival and sitting on the brink of the third trimester. People keep asking me when my due date is and each time I respond with, "October 27th!" I see the eyes of the inquirer widen with excitement before they exclaim, "That's so SOON!" Three months, that's it. We are three months away from our lives changing forever. The reality of it all has hit me at random moments throughout the past week. We are having a baby; a real, tiny, wiggly, adorable baby. She is our baby; created partly from me and partly from Tay. She belongs to us. It's so exciting and terrifying and wonderful all at once. My heart has been so full. The mere thought of holding my own baby makes the emotions within me swell. I was reading about how she will open her eyes for the first time this week-- of course, there won't be much to see from within the dark and cozy place that she currently exists, but she will open her beautiful little eyes-- and the thought made me cry. Every little mile stone feels more and more real the closer we get to actually meeting her. It's all so incredible. I can't believe I only have three more months of being pregnant. It's taken forever and gone so fast all at the same time.

Life is so surreal.
xx

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