the first kiss | a commentary about usMarch 18, 2016
Laying there, staring up at that boy who had always been there for me, something in my head just clicked. For so long I had put off any feelings I may have had for him, simply telling myself that they were "silly" or "short-lived." But I realized that the only "silly" thing was the fact that I had not ever really given the concept of "us" a chance. And just like that, after six years of JUST-friendship, I suddenly wanted him to kiss me.
I sent him all the signals, I puckered my lips a little when I talked, I got extra flirty, and I even started to slip subtle hints into the things I was saying. I thought I was being completely obvious, but now that I look back on it, I realize that I was probably just being extremely confusing. I'd spent all that time saying, "no, no, no, no, no!" to romantic relations with Tay and then all of a sudden I was sending him "signals?" Yeah, sorry hun.
Long story short, after a painful hour of me dragging on with all of those "hints" and Taylor fighting off his aching desire to kiss me (but also thinking he was crazy and that I wasn't sending him any signals at all), he finally gave in and, leaning down ever so slowly, pressed his lips against my own. It all happened so fast that I didn't really think about what happened next. But, before I could even stop myself the word, "FINALLY," had already slipped out of my mouth.
Maybe it was because he'd taken a full on hour to take advantage of the fact that I was sending him all the "kiss me!!!!!" hints... or maybe it was because we had been "just friends" for so long despite the fact that, deep down, we both knew there was so much more between us than we were actually letting on. But, in all reality, I can't exactly explain why that was the first word that left my mouth that autumn evening all those years ago... but I do know this: I'm glad that our love finally came to be.