bring on the worries.October 22, 2015
I've always been somewhat of a worrier, but I've never been one to let it get the best of me. Lately, however, I've fallen victim to my worries time and time again. It's quite a peculiar thing, really. My heart rate goes up and I feel this great amount of energy building up within myself-- and all at once I feel completely overwhelmed. I had another "anxiety attack" yesterday evening. They aren't a big deal, really, but they aren't very fun and they make you feel rather disgruntled. Which, of course, I don't like.
So as I was sitting in a puddle of worries last night, I made the decision to not let it get the best of me any longer. With all the changes and things occurring in my life right now, I realized that I've let really good habits slip away and I've let not-so-good habits replace them. For example, I used to go running as often as I could. These days, however, due to specific health challenges, I haven't been able to do that. And, as another example, I used to write in my beloved journal every single night. As of recently, however, I've been wretched when it comes to journal writing. Mostly because life is hectic and there's been so much going on. But that's merely an excuse. And, like my father always says, "Excuses are like rear ends; we all have one and they all stink."
I've made a goal to bring some revived and revised habits back into my life. Seeing as running takes quite the toll on my body, I've decided to start going on walks. Taylor Dale, the sweet husband that he is, agreed to join me in my evening strolls. Last night we roamed the streets of this new little town we live in. It was a dark and gloomy day, rain kissed the sidewalks and the streets from the morning until the evening, which left little puddles of love everywhere we looked. As a result, when we embarked on our little walk last night, I was swept away in a little spout of happiness. The air was clean and crisp and full of delightful smells. It just felt impossibly good to walk around to unspecified destinations with my hand in Tay's.
I've also made the conscious decision to be better at journaling. I know if you're like I was, you've got at least eight started journals laying around in your bedroom and you never made it farther than page ten. I had such a hard time journaling when I was younger. I've overcome that, mostly. (Aside from the last month or two.) BUT, if you want to be better at journaling, here are my tips to getting re-started:
1. Get a journal that you absolutely ADORE. It's got to be the kind of journal that you look forward to writing in. Take your time looking for the right one, too. (My suggestions of good places to look are bookstores. I personally really like Deseret Book.) Once you find the right journal you'll also magically find the motivation to write.
2. Make journaling what YOU want it to be. For example, I tape and glue random things within the pages and use stickers as emojis. It makes it more exciting. But you could merely make yours a gratitude journal. Or a sentence-a-day journal. It's your journal, it's up to you. (I have a friend who journals by drawing out comic strips about her day.)
3. Don't try to start off the journal by "catching up." That's exactly what will smother your motivation to begin again. Just start right where you're at-- with today. It's so much easier to stay motivated when you feel "on top" of things rather than feeling like you're scrambling to catch up. You can catch up later, or gradually through your journal entries. But don't try to do it all at once at the beginning. Start with today.
Who's down to "re-start" journaling with me?
And what are your ways of defeating your worries?