nonsensical mush.August 19, 2015
There was a point in my life when I felt as if I always knew what to say; and if I didn't actually know what to say, I just pretended that I did (and somehow that always seemed to work). But lately, I've found myself at a loss for words. This drought of self-expression could be the result of a lot of different things, really. For example, the fact that I went to Korea and lived there for a year and a half and now all of a sudden I'm not there anymore. I'm not a missionary anymore either. Or maybe the cause is the fact that I'm now engaged to the man version of my fourteen-year-old self's best friend. Or maybe it's merely that the brain of mine all the way up in my skull is getting old and dusty-- I'm not too sure. But for some reason, all the thoughts dancing around within my skull cavity can't seem to escape out of their prison within my mind without turning into a pile of nonsensical mush. So there's that.
Taylor is a weirdo. That's probably why I like him so much, actually. He sings strange songs with his lips pressed to my cheekbone and it drives me absolutely bonkers. So, in my madness, I attempt to wriggle free from his Taylor-choke-hold but always end up in a tighter embrace. And it's the worst because my "get-back" tactics always include pathetic attempts to tickle him. But he's not even remotely ticklish. So I lose that battle too. Especially because I am quite certain that I make up for all the ticklishness he lacks...
We went apartment shopping in a little college town this weekend. We weren't really expecting to find anything, but alas, after several miracles we walked away from the weekend with a housing contract and a set of apartment keys. We've officially got a little place to call our own and it makes me all giddy inside just thinking about it.
It's been interesting to see how everything has been playing out. Things just keep falling together. I think that's what gives me so much reassurance that this is right-- everything just keeps working out so nicely. There were points in my life when I'd find myself frustrated because things weren't "working out." Well... they weren't working out the way I wanted them to. But I think one thing I've realized over time is that when it all comes down to it, the things that are supposed to happen WILL. And that's that.
Anyways, I'm really, really, really happy.
And I quite like being happy.